Avengers Texts
by LokiHetfield
Summary: Just some text convo's that happened to be taken from the Avenger's phones. Hehe...-Lokitty
1. Chapter 1

**I got bored, made this, really chapters and what not will be posted whenever I get bored again, basically. Each chapter is a ship unless I put that it doesn't have one, ya. Enjoy! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Clint and Loki**_

**Clint:** Loki

**Clint:** Loki

**Clint:** Loki

**Clint:** Loki where r u

**Clint:** Y are u ignoring me?

**Clint:** LOKI

**Loki:** For the love of Odin what do you want from me? I was attempting to sleep!

**Clint:** There's a kitten in my shoe

**Clint:** Y is there a kitten in my shoe?

**Loki:** I found it outside and brought it inside, I like cats, get over your fear.

**Clint:** But, wait it's looking at me…

**Clint:** IT'S COMING TOWARDS ME!

**Clint:** SAVE ME!

**Loki:** I'm dating chicken…

**Clint:** Hawk.

**Clint:** IT'S CHASING ME. WHERE R U.

**Loki:** At my house, I left the kitten at yours so you'd get over it. I'm going back to sleep.

**Clint:** LOKI DON'T LEAVE ME.

**Clint:** LOKI

**Clint:** I hid in the closest.

**Loki:** Are you planning on coming out of the closet?

**Clint:** I can just imagine u laughing right now. Come and save me!

**Loki:** Fine. But you are forever a chicken.

**Clint:** U love me.

**Loki:** You're lucky I do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Behold, more Avengers texts. This is just an escape from school anymore really, a nice escape. Enjoy peoples! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Clint and Tony**_

**Clint:** Y did I wake up alone

**Tony:** I'm in my lab.

**Clint:** But I'm lonely…

**Tony:** Then come down here.

**Clint:** U DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE

**Tony:** Clint, you need breakfast.

**Clint:** Then feed me

**Tony:** Why are you so much work sometimes?

**Clint:** BECAUSE U LOVE ME, THAT'S Y.

**Tony:** You had way too much sugar last night…

_*A few minutes later*_

**Tony:** Why do I smell smoke?

**Clint:** I burned some toast cause u don't love me.

**Tony:** Don't make me come up there.

**Clint:** U WILL NEVER FIND ME. I AM IN THE VENTS.

**Tony:** Oh my god…

**Clint:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello readers of this! It is group convo time! This should be everybody including Loki. No ships in this! –Lokitty**

* * *

**Clint:** Tony? Where r all my spoons?

**Tony:** Why are you asking me?

**Tony:** Wait, all my spoons are missing too.

**Clint:** So u didn't take them?

**Tony:** No of course not!

**Thor:** FRIENDS, THE SPOONS HAVE GONE MISSING.

**Tony:** We know Thor.

**Steve:** Hello everyone. It would seem that my spoons are missing as well. –S

**Tony:** I bet Loki did it.

**Loki:** If I did it then why are my spoons missing as well?

**Thor:** HE HAS A POINT.

**Clint:** No he doesn't!

**Loki:** Yes I do.

**Bruce:** What if we just ask JARVIS?

**Steve:** But if it was Tony then he could have JARVIS keep it secret. –S

**Clint:** Steve stop putting –S at the end of ur messages. We know its u.

**Steve:** Are you sure? –S

**Loki:** Yes Rogers, he is very sure.

**Steve:** Oh, I apologize.

**Natasha:** Guys?

**Tony:** Yes?

**Natasha:** Why did I wake up surrounded by spoons?

**Tony:** What.

**Clint:** …..

**Loki:** Omg.

**Thor:** THAT IS A CLEVER PRANK.

**Steve:** Who did it?

**Bruce:** Ask JARVIS.

**Clint:** ….

**Clint:** IM SORRY I HAD TOO!

**Natasha:** …

**Natasha:** Run.


	4. Chapter 4

**Texting time…hehehehe…I really hope this is at least somewhat amusing, I'm really sick right now…anyway, enjoy! -Lokitty**

* * *

_**Natasha and Clint**_

**Clint:** Nat?

**Clint:** Do u wanna go 4 coffee?

**Clint:** I want coffee.

**Natasha:** The last thing you need is caffeine in your system.

**Clint:** Y?

**Natasha:** Because last time you had caffeine you shaved Loki's head, then he turned you into a cat, and you crapped your pants because you were scared of yourself.

**Clint:** ….

**Clint:** That won't happen againnnn

**Natasha:** You're right, because you don't get caffeine.

**Clint:** U don't love me…

**Natasha:** I know you're quoting Adventure Time.

**Clint:** Ur not my father!

**Natasha:** You already had coffee, didn't you?

**Clint:** ALL OF THE COFFEE.

**Natasha:** You are a child in a man's body.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bonjour. I don't actually ship this so this is more of a convo between friends, and I'll be honest with you, my friends and I have texted these things at like 2A.M. The numbers of texts and calls is accurate. This is Clint at 2A.M. texting Bruce because no one else would answer. –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Clint and Bruce**_

**Clint:** Hey Bruceeeee. R u like up? Cause like no 1 else is up!

**Bruce:** Yes, I am awake.

**Clint:** Hurray! I had a gallon of ice cream today so I can't sleep! What r U UP 2?

**Bruce:** I was just up reading. Clint, who else did you text?

**Clint:** Like, everybody. I sent Tony 72 messages and called him like 4 times but he didn't answer…

**Bruce:** He's going to kill you when he wakes up.

**Clint:** Y?

**Bruce:** Because you sent him 72 messages most likely containing nonsense.

**Clint:** HA! That's funny cause everything I say is not nonsense! It makes perfect senseeeee.

**Bruce:** Whatever helps you sleep at night.

**Clint:** I NEVER SLEEP 4 I AM BATMAN.

**Bruce:** Oh dear…

**Clint:** Tell no1…nananananananananananananananana

**Clint:** Hey Bruce ya wanna go sky diving?

**Clint:** Bruce?

**Clint:** Bruce?

**Clint:** Oh Brucey boyyyyyy

**Bruce:** IJPOWIAHENFLD8FIHWEA

**Clint:**…oh shit 0.0


	6. Chapter 6

**Hurray more messages! I don't totally ship this but I'm not against it so take this however you desire. Enjoyyyyyy! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Clint and Thor**_

**Thor:** MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK, I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE

**Clint:** Um, with what?

**Thor:** THE BOX OF HEATING IS BEEPING AT ME WITH ANGER.

**Clint:** The microwave…?

**Thor:** YES. THAT.

**Clint:** It's not mad at u, its telling u that ur food is done

**Thor:** WHY MUST IT ALERT ME SO LOUDLY?

**Clint:** So u'll actually hear it.

**Thor:** I HAVE SILENCED IT.

**Clint:** Um, how…?

**Thor:** WITH MJOLNIR OF COURSE!

**Clint:** Tony's gunna kill u…

_*An hour later*_

**Thor:** MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK, I MUST ALERT YOU OF SOMETHING VITAL.

**Clint:** U don't have to say that every time u know

**Thor:** SAY WHAT?

**Clint:** Nvm…what has occurred?

**Thor:** YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BOTTOM.

**Clint:** …I know…

**Thor:** OH.

**Clint:** You broke something of mine didn't u

**Thor:** PERHAPS….

**Clint:** -_-


	7. Chapter 7

**Don't ship this, not against it. Yes this is the third chapter in one day, but I'm sick and honestly had nothing better to do, so I've been rotating between these and my other story that I'm currently working on. Enjoy! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Clint and Steve**_

**Steve:** Good morning Clint! I am in the gym training right now and was wondering if you would like to spar with me? Please respond soon, Steve.

**Clint:** Omfg it's like 5am, y r u even uppppppp?

**Steve:** To train, we have to be prepared for an attack. Steve.

**Clint:** The hell r u putting ur name at the end of ur messages, I know it's u, I have ur contact u know.

**Steve:** It is just a safety precaution. Will you be joining me? Steve.

**Clint:** If I join u then u owe me like 3 cups of coffee and cake and bunches of other sugar and caffeine stuff cause it's so freaking early

**Steve:** Natasha would not be pleased with me if I did. Steve.

**Clint:** OmFg stop putting Steveeeeeeeeeeeee. And who caressssssss if she's pleased?

**Steve:** She would be very upset, and we all know what happens when she gets upset. I would think you learned now, after your little spoon prank. Steve.

**Clint:** Aw come on the was fucking genius.

**Steve:** Please do not use vulgar language. Steve.

**Clint:** Don't tempt me.

**Steve:** I will make you a deal, if you stop using vulgar language and come to spar with me I will provide you with all the sweets you want. Deal? Steve.

**Clint:** Hmmmmmmm, deal. And stop putting Steve, seriously.

**Steve:** Steve.

**Clint:** Oh ha-ha, aren't you a funny man.

**Steve:** Thank you!

**Clint:** The sarcasm is lost over text…

* * *

**A/N: That is the last of the Clint texting people section! Except for group texts, we are done with him for a while! I'm torn between Loki and Tony next so I thought let's do this instead: Leave a review saying who you'd like to see text next and the first review saying TONY or LOKI will be the next texts. Also I will credit you, and if you have any fun ideas they can text about feel free to also put that in the reviews! Thanks for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**And the winner is…Tony! Thank you very much to the lovely sailorraven34 and the guests for choosing and leaving nice reviews! Since the vote was all basically for Tony his messages will be next, but I went with the one advice so behold, IronFrost! I totally ship this so hard omg. –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Tony and Loki**_

**Loki:** Stark, I did not give you permission to leave the bed.

**Tony:** Why do I need your permission? And why are you texting me, I'm in the closet looking for a shirt.

**Loki:** Because I don't want to get up and my throat hurts from last night, which is your fault.

**Tony:** You were screaming my name baby ;)

**Loki:** Silence mortal.

**Tony:** Aw, is my little god angry?

**Loki:** I'm taller than you.

**Tony:** You're still my little god.

**Loki:** Omfg Tony shut up before I do get out of bed.

**Tony:** Oooo I'm soooo scared.

**Tony: **Do you sense the sarcasm there?

**Loki:** That's it. Run for your life you blithering idiot.

**Tony:** 0.0

**Tony:** I thought you loved me.

**Loki:** Stark open the damned door!

**Tony:** Never! I will never come out of the closet!

**Loki:** Yet last night you bedded a man.

**Tony: **You are a man-lady.

**Loki:** And you are fucking dead.

**Loki: **I love you.

**Loki:** *sarcasm*

**Tony:** You need help…


	9. Chapter 9

**I had this idea like moments ago and just had to post it. Also, I'm very happy that you guys are enjoying the messages! :D –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Group**_

**Steve:** Hello everyone! We are going to conduct our first meeting over text! Please respond with your name and current status: Steven Rogers, reading a war magazine. -Steve

**Tony:** You so totally brought this upon yourself cause you interrupted my sex. Tony mother fucking Stark, currently on top of Loki.

**Loki:** Loki Laufeyson, figure it out yourself.

**Clint:** TMI bro.

**Clint:** Clint Batman Barton, in the vents.

**Thor:** MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWKS, I WAS UNWARE THAT YOU WERE THE BATMAN. THOR ODINSON, EATING A POPTART.

**Natasha:** He's not batman, he just wishes he was. Natasha. NOYB.

**Steve:** Natasha, what does NOYB mean? –Steve

**Natasha:** None of your business.

**Steve:** Oh…. –Steve

**Bruce:** No Steve, NOYB stands for _N_one _O_f _Y_our _B_usiness. Bruce Banner, working in his lab alone.

**Steve:** Thank you for clarifying! Now let us begin the meeting! –Steve

**Clint:** Did u like totally ignore the part where Tony and Loki r freaking doing it right now?

**Steve:** I chose not to acknowledge it.

**Thor:** MAN OF IRON, STOP DEFILING MY BROTHER WITH YOUR HAMMER.

**Clint:** dude omfg dude u did not just say that omfg lolololololol

**Loki:** I do what I want!

**Tony:** And I do who I want!

**Clint:** LOL

**Natasha:** Would you please stop acting like children and let Steve conduct his meeting.

**Clint:** I do what I want.

**Loki: **No.

**Clint:** Whatcha gunna do 'bout it Laufeyson? Chase me down naked?

**Thor:** BROTHER, PLEASE CLOTHE YOURSELF BEFORE CHASING DOWN THE MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK.

**Clint:** Oh 4 the luv of everything pretty like my ass would u plz stop putting that every freaking time!?

**Thor:** PUTTING WHAT.

**Bruce: **And this is why our meetings never cover anything productive.

**Tony:** Pfft, I was being productive before Steve interrupted me!

**Loki:** Us.

**Tony:** Ya! Us!

**Steve:** Maybe we should postpone this meeting…Can everyone please meet in the training room in two hours? Fully dressed. –Steve

**Loki:** Fine, now leave me be.

**Tony: **US be.

**Thor:** NO MORE HAMMER.

**Clint:** hammerhammerhammerhammerhammer

**Natasha:** You had sugar again didn't you?

**Bruce:** *face-palm*

* * *

**A/N: Hello readers! Some of you may have noticed that Falcon is not in this yet, well that is just because since the Avengers Age of Ultron isn't out yet I decided to leave him out. I'm still open to ideas of what they can text and in the future expect a Spider-man and Deadpool convo, because why not. Love you guys!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wheeeee thank you soooo very much to all you amazing lovely people who are enjoying my texts! Seeing your reviews just makes my day! Also super special thanks to my best friend who helped me out A LOT with these. SCIENCE BROS FOR THE WIN. –Lokitty **

* * *

_**Tony and Bruce**_

**Tony:** Oh Brucey Boyyyyyy

**Bruce:** Tony its 4:30 go to sleep

**Tony:** No! Now is the hour of the dawnnight

**Bruce:** It's the hour of bedtime, go to sleep.

**Tony:** You are no fun. Where are you I'm coming to jump in your bed

**Bruce:** Tony no.

**Tony:** Tony yes! Wait why aren't you in my bed?

**Bruce:** Because I'm in mine

**Tony:** I thought you were my boyfriend.

**Bruce:** In that case why'd you buy me my own bed?

**Tony:** …

**Tony:** The law of Tony Stark clearly states that you must be in my bed.

**Bruce: **What law?

**Bruce:** You came up with that just this second didn't you?

**Tony:** You don't know my life!

**Tony:** But yes I did.

**Bruce:** I live with you, I know plenty about your life. I'll give you this one thought because I'm tired, I'm coming up to your room.

**Tony:** Yayyyyyy!

**Tony:** I'm completely totally fully dressed

**Bruce:** …..

**Tony:** ;)

**Bruce:** Sometimes I question why I like you

* * *

**A/N: Hello! I am Iron Man, I can do Nat and Bucky, but please be patient with me because I'm not totally sure how Bucky would text (I did see Cap 2 but still) so that probably won't be out until after the Tony messages, possibly longer but I promise I will do one!**


	11. Chapter 11

**And the Tony texts continue…Next up is Tony and Steve! I shipped this, then I didn't, then I half-way did so take this however you want. Tony's had a few drinks btw so his typos are on purpose. –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Tony and Steve**_

**Tony:** Steveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**Steve:** Yes Tony? –S

**Tony:** How come you like, awlasy put –S at the end of your messages? I knoe it's you.

**Steve:** Tony, are you intoxicated? –S

**Tony:** YOU SIR, are intoximicated. And you IgnOred my question!

**Steve:** Tony, please go to bed. –S

**Tony:** STOP AVOIDING THE TOPIC, DO YOU THINK I CANT HANLED THE TRUTHE?

**Steve:** Alright, please calm down. I put the S so you always know it's me. –S

**Tony:** But I like, got ya saved on mah phone, so I knoe its you bro.

**Steve:** Tony, how many times do I have to explain to you that is it a safety precaution? -S

**Tony:** YOU SIR, AREE A SAFETI PRECATION

**Steve:** Ok Tony, just tell me where you are so I can come get you and put you to bed. -S

**Tony:** Is Stevie gunna tuck me in and give me kisses?

**Steve:** No Tony, I am just going to make sure you don't text anyone else. -S

**Tony:** You want me to text other people?

**Steve:** Please no. -S

_*Moments later*_

**Tony:** OMFG I KNOE BATMAN, I FUCKING KNOW BATMAN AND YOU DON'T

**Steve:** You also know all the Avengers -S

**Tony:** I do? Omgggggggggggg I must be famussssssss

**Steve:** You technically are. -S

**Tony:** OMg how?

**Steve:** Tell me where you are and I will explain everything. -S

**Tony:** In your bed naked.

**Steve:** 0.0 -S

* * *

**A/N: And that is why Tony should never have a phone when drunk. Ok it's time to be specific and give thanks to the lovely: SuperWhoPotterAvene-X, Verity Kindle, sailorraven34, Amy (guest), I Am Iron Man (guest), Evie McPhey, and all the other people who are keeping up with the messages! I try to post a chapter a day so if I miss a day assume the worst (JK), but seriously it's probably because I had a relapse of my sickness or ran into a wall or something. Possibly fell down the stairs at school…ANYWAY, please pretty please with a cherry on top keep leaving your lovely reviews! They make me smile so much when I see your amazing reviews (and tales of what happened when you read them)! **

**Keep an eye out for a Bucky and Nat, Bucky and Steve, and a Deadpool and Spidey! And I may end up putting Falcon in at some point, if I do it'll be at the very end of all the messages. That is all! (Sorry if that was lots) **


	12. Chapter 12

**PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU HAVE LEFT A COMMENT RECENTLY. Hello all! I must acknowledge many things at the moment so here we go. Ok so at **_**ilikehats2**_** I might do that in the future but I'd have to make sure and find a way to make it funny. At **_**ozhawk**_**, for now Clint is not being used (except for group convos) because I want to make and sure cover like all the ships, after that then I'll do all kinds of stuff with random pairings, and Clint on caffeine and sugar, so please be patient with me! At **_**I Am Iron Man **_**Thor will be a main but at the moment I'm going in a bit of an order but he will be a main, fear not. And your comments do show up but since you are a guest I have it set up so I have to approve the comment before it shows (mostly so dick's don't try and be dicks) And thanks for the tip! I'm doing him and Steve as well so I have two chances! And more FrostIron after all the ships have been shipped! I appreciate all you lovely people who keep up with this and like comment moments after I upload another chapter. :D –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Tony and Thor**_

**Thor:** MAN OF IRON, I HAVE DISCOVERED A CAT POP TART. WHERE CAN I AQUIRE THIS MAGNIFICANT CREATURE?

**Tony:** Thor, you don't buy a Nyan cat. That, just no.

**Thor:** WHAT IS A NYAN CAT?

**Tony:** The pop tart cat.

**Thor:** THAT IS THE NAME OF A WEAKLING. WE SHALL RENAME HIM EDWARD.

**Tony:** Ok one, he is not our baby and two, why Edward…?

**Thor:** HE WILL BE NAMED AFTER THE SPARKLING VAMPIRE MAN.

**Tony:** You have got to be fucking kidding me. Stop having movie nights with Clint! He's poisoning your mind.

**Thor:** NO, HE IS EDUCATING ME OF MIDGARD. I WAS UNAWARE THAT HE WAS THE MAN OF BAT AS WELL AS THE MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK.

**Tony:** There are so many things I could comment back to that…and is your phone permanently in CAPS LOCK!?

**Thor:** YES. I AM A GOD, EVERYTHING I SAY MUST BE LOUD.

**Tony:** You're as bad as Steve, I swear if you start labeling your messages I'm hiding all your pop tarts.

**Thor:** THEN FACE THE WRATH OF MY HAMMER MORTAL!

**Tony:** Thor what are you doing.

**Tony:** Thor what is that noise upstairs.

**Tony:** THOR GET OUT OF MY LAB AND STOP TOUCHING THINGS.

**Thor:** MAN OF IRON, I HAVE REORGANIZED YOUR LAB TO SUIT YOUR NEEDS.

**Tony:** You…that's it. You just lost your pop tarts mister.

**Thor:** YOU ARE THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER.

**Tony:** YOU touched MY stuff, and now I'm touching yours.

**Thor:** I SHALL MAKE YOU A DEAL, LEAVE MY POP TARTS ALONE AND COME TOUCH MY HAMMER.

**Tony:** …

**Tony:** I'm coming now.

* * *

**I should be studying…**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everybody, I feel so bad for not posting yesterday, but I was out yesterday night with someone and when I got home I fell asleep…I'm not feeling amazing today so I will try to post at least three today but I may not. I'm super sorry! I really wanted to post many today but there's only so much I can do! I love you all and thank you for your support! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Tony and Natasha **_

**Tony:** Nat, would you please stop leaving your bra's all over my floor.

**Natasha:** You put threw them there, it's not my job to pick them up.

**Tony:** But they're your bras!

**Natasha:** Hey Tony? Remember what happened last weekend?

**Tony:** Don't you dare bring that up.

**Natasha:** You were prancing around in one of MY bras and a thong claiming that you were the prettiest woman on the face of the earth. So, clearly one of my bras is actually yours.

**Tony:** Ok one, I would be if I was a woman and two, I WAS DRUNK!

**Natasha:** My foot is pretty then your face.

**Tony:** Why are you so feisty?

**Natasha:** Because you're complaining about my bras.

**Tony:** Fineeeee, but I have another question. Where are you?

**Natasha:** Tony I swear to god I will come over there and kick the ever living crap out of you if you do not shut the actual fuck up.

**Tony:** 0.0

**Natasha:** It's that time of month. Now bring me some damned chocolate before I shoot you.

**Tony:** I'M COMING HOLD ON.

**Natasha:** -_-

**Tony:** I love you…?

**Natasha:** Then why don't I have chocolate.

**Tony:** Because you scare me.

**Natasha:** …..

**Natasha:** That's it. Where are you.

**Tony:** Hiding under the bed…

**Natasha:** You best start running you idiot.

**Tony:** I love you…

**Natasha:** -_-

* * *

**A/N: One can only hope that was somewhat decent. Tasha is kinda hard to do, but don't worry! Next is something that I think you'll enjoy…hehehe *evil laughter* Also, that is the end of Tony for now! Next is Loki, but first is a thing, hehe.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Second story of the day! Hurray! This is going to be an online group message introducing Bucky because I thought it'd be a fun way to bring him in for the future. Ships in this: FrostIron and hints of other ships, can you guess them? Enjoy! –Lokitty**

* * *

_*Steven Rogers has logged on*_

**Natasha:** Hi Steve, I see you finally figured out how to long onto your account.

**Steve:** Bruce helped me :) -Steve

**Natasha:** Well that was nice of him.

_*Clinton Barton has logged on*_

**Clint:** Steve! U r finally online! Now I can send pictures of birds to ur phone AND ur account! :D

**Steve:** That's very nice of you Clint, but I really don't need more pictures of birds. –Steve

**Clint:** ….U HURT MY FEELINGS

**Natasha:** Clint. What did you eat?

_*Thor Odinson has logged on*_

**Thor:** FRIENDS, A GREAT CRIME HAS TAKEN PLACE WITHIN THE TOWER. MY POP TARTS HAVE BEEN STOLEN.

**Clint:** Hehehehehehe…

**Steve:** Clint, did you take all of Thor's pop tarts? –Steve

**Clint:** U CANT PROVE ANYTHING.

**Natasha:** That message is proof enough.

**Thor:** MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK, WHY HAVE YOU TAKEN MY POP TARTS?

_*Loki Laufeyson has logged on*_

**Loki:** What's going on and how can I make it worse?

**Thor:** BROTHER, THE MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK HAS STOLEN ALL OF MY POP TARTS.

**Clint:** Stop calling me that! MY NAME IS BATMAN.

**Loki:** Batman is hotter than you.

_*Tony Stark has logged on*_

**Tony:** Excuse me, but I am WAY hotter than Batman.

**Loki:** Mhmm, indeed you are.

**Clint:** STAHP WITH UR SEXUAL NONSENSE. Thor, make them stop!

**Thor:** I WILL NOT HELP YOU BECAUSE YOU STOLE MY POPTARTS, BROTHER BE AS SEXUAL AS YOU PLEASE.

**Loki:** Done.

**Tony:** Hehe, challenge accepted.

_*Bucky Barnes has logged on*_

**Steve:** Wait, please don't do this now, Bucky just logged on. –Steve.

**Clint:** Steve stop signing your mother fucking messages.

**Bucky: **You shouldn't tell Steve what to do. I understand why he signs his messages, so sign away Steve.

**Steve:** Thanks Bucky :) -Steve

**Clint:** Of course he would defend u!

**Natasha:** I defend you, sometimes.

**Clint:** That's different.

**Tony:** He's right, Steve doesn't really need defending. However Clint does because he can't life without Tasha to protect him.

**Loki:** That is very true.

_*Bruce Banner has logged on*_

**Bruce:** Hello everyone, what are we talking about?

**Thor:** WE ARE MOCKING THE MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK BECAUSE HE NEEDS NATASHA TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM. HE IS INCOMPETENT.

**Bruce:** Ah.

**Clint:** U guys r dicks.

**Loki:** I am not a dick, but I do enjoy Tony's.

**Clint:** STAHP.

**Bucky:** You did bring this upon yourself Clint, I just read the entire conversation. –Bucky

**Clint:** Omfg now ur signing ur messages 2?

**Loki:** Does it bother you Barton? –Loki

**Clint:** Y DO U ALL HATE ME.

**Natasha:** I don't hate you, but you do stupid things.

**Clint:** Ur spose to love me.

**Natasha: **Are you bossing me around?

_*Clinton Barton has logged off*_

**Bucky:** He is a chicken, not a hawk. –Bucky.

**Tony:** Ya, ok dude you can stop signing your messages.

**Bucky:** But Steve gave legit reasons for doing it. –Bucky.

**Loki:** You guys are so perfect for each other. Tony. Bed. Now.

_*Loki Laufeyson and Tony Stark have logged off*_

**Steve:** What did he mean by that? –Steve

**Bruce:** Oh Steve…Come on Thor, I'll take you shopping for more pop tarts.

**Thor:** WHY THANK YOU. I SHALL MEET YOU IN THE ROOM OF DINING.

_*Thor Odinson and Bruce Banner have logged off*_

**Natasha:** Well that was interesting. Hey you guys should go out for dinner, I'm about to make Clint yell for mercy and not in the good way.

**Steve:** 0.0 –Steve

**Bucky:** Well um, good luck with that. –Bucky

_*Natasha Romanova has logged off*_

**Steve:** So do you want to go out and eat? –Steve

**Bucky:** Sure. –Bucky

**Steve:** Alright, I'll meet you at the front door. –Steve

*_Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers have logged off*_

* * *

**A/N: Yay ships! Well that was my way of bringing Bucky into all of this. I'm going to attempt Natasha and Bucky for the next texts so keep an eye out for that!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! The Natasha and Bucky has arrived! I spent extra time on this just for you guys and I really hope you like it. I'm not sure if it has the full comical side I was going for or if it has a bit more of a 'serious' side, but I'm happy with it so yay! Also, seeing your comments just makes my day thank you all for caring about me. I hope you enjoy! –Lokitty **

* * *

_**Natasha and Bucky**_

**Bucky:** Hey Nat…what time will you be home…? –B

**Natasha:** Another two hours, why?

**Bucky:** Well um, Clint and I were trying to get in to leave you a surprise…but the door was jammed and I pulled it open…and off… -B

**Natasha:** /)-_-)

**Bucky:** It was Clint's idea! -B

**Natasha:** You really need to stop hanging out with him. And maybe it was his fault THIS time, but last time was all on you.

**Bucky:** Last time I didn't break the front door though! –B

**Natasha:** No, you yanked the door off the fridge, then the microwave, then the cabinet.

**Bucky:** I was frustrated… -B

**Natasha:** Bucky I love you and all, but I'm not rich.

**Natasha:** What was the surprise anyway…?

**Bucky:** Clint said you really liked pancakes and he knew some guy who makes 300 at a time so we put pancakes all over your kitchen. –B

**Natasha:** ….

**Natasha:** Ok, stop hanging out with Clint, fix my front door, and remove all the pancakes BEFORE I get home. Or else.

**Bucky:** Or else what…? –B

**Natasha:** Do you really want to know.

**Bucky:** Um, not really…but there's one more thing… -B

**Natasha:** -_-

**Bucky:** Clint's running around in his underwear… -B

**Natasha:** What did you feed him?

**Bucky:** Coffee! I thought people always drank coffee these days! –B

**Natasha:** They do, but I told you not to give Clint anything he talks you into!

**Bucky:** But he wouldn't shut up! –B

**Natasha:** You have a metal arm.

**Natasha:** And I changed my mind, I don't want to go home today. Tie up Clint and bring him to the tower, I'm going to kill him.

**Bucky:** And me…? –B

**Natasha:** You'll see.

**Bucky:** …

**Bucky:** Do I have to go to the tower…? –B

**Natasha:** Do you want me to hunt you down?

**Bucky:** Be there soon. –B

**Natasha:** You better be.

* * *

**A/N: Loki is nexttttt, also my New England Patriots lost to the Dolphins today…I'm super sad and frustrated. That has nothing to do with anything but I felt like sharing. Also I'm telling you now, I will not be posting on 9/11 for certain reasons. Thanks for reading! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello for the second time today! I wasn't planning on posting this until tomorrow but I just had to because I love Loki and Thor. –Lokitty **

* * *

_**Loki and Thor**_

**Thor:** BROTHER, I HAVE AWOKEN IN YOUR BED.

**Loki:** Well I would assume so, considering you fell asleep in it.

**Thor:** WHY HAS THIS OCCURRED, AND WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES.

**Loki:** Let me recap for you: You got drunk and fucked me senseless, then fell asleep.

**Thor:** OH.

**Thor:** IF WE ARE NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP THEN WHY HAVE I AWOKEN ALONE?

**Loki:** I got hungry. And we are not in a relationship, it was a one night thing.

**Thor:** WHERE YOU DRUNK AS WELL?

**Loki:** No…

**Thor:** IF YOU WERE NOT DRUNK THEN YOU WERE PERFECTLY ALRIGHT WITH IT, THERFORE WE ARE NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP. I SHALL TEXT EVERYONE AND LET THEM KNOW.

**Loki:** Thor! Do NOT text everybody!

**Thor:** IT IS TOO LATE.

**Loki:** …I'm not giving you your clothes back now.

**Thor:** I HAVE NO ISSUES WITH WALKING AROUND NUDE.

**Loki:** I just ate your last pop tart.

**Loki:** God of Mischief and Lies bitch.

**Thor:** I CANNOT HELP BUT FEEL THAT YOU ARE NOT FULLY SOBER.

**Loki:** YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE.

**Thor:** ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES?

**Loki:** ….maybe….

**Thor:** THEN I KNOW YOUR LIFE.

**Loki:** Oh fuck you.

**Thor:** I DO BELIEVE IT WAS I WHO WAS ON TOP BROTHER.

**Loki:** OhmyOdin shut up.

**Thor:** YOU CANNOT MAKE ME.

**Loki:** Challenge accepted.

* * *

**A/N: Woo! Loki and Thor for the win! Lolz, hope you guys enjoyed! And for those of you who leave super-fast comments, you guys are now my ninja fans. And for the record, Thor totally remembers last night, he's just messing with Loki ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

**This is, the first texts, with Loki drunk. Enjoy. –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Loki and Steve**_

**Loki:** Hey Steve? I'm very drunk. I thought you should know.

**Loki:** Hey Steve. Why are you ignoring me?

**Loki: **STEVE FOR THE LOVE OF ODIN JUST COME PICK ME UP SO I CAN LOVE YOU.

**Loki:** Physically.

**Loki:** Am I making you uncomfortable.

**Loki:** Is that why you're ignoring me?

**Loki:** STEVE.

**Loki:** Oh fuck you. We are so over OhmyOdin.

_*Ten minutes later*_

**Steve:** Loki? I'm sorry my phone was charging in the bedroom. Are you really dumping me? :( -S

**Loki:** Your phone was CHARGING.

**Loki:** I could have DIED and you wouldn't KNOW

**Steve:** I thought your daughter was the Queen of the Underworld? –S

**Loki:** Stop using my words against me Steve! Gods!

**Steve:** Loki, you need to rest. –S

**Loki:** If you love me

**Loki:** Physically

**Loki:** I might

**Loki:** MIGHT

**Loki:** Forgive you.

**Loki: **I might throw up on you…

**Steve:** Do you need a hug? -S

**Loki:** NO

**Loki:** MAYBE

**Loki:** …..

**Loki: **I just threw up on some man, he wasn't too happy.

**Loki:** I'm running away now.

**Loki:** WHERE ARE YOU?

**Loki:** COME SAVE ME. GODS.

**Steve:** Loki? –S

**Loki:** Yes?

**Steve:** I can see you hiding under the bed. –S

**Loki: **…

**Loki:** You still owe me sex for not answering the phone.

S**teve: **/)-_-) –S

* * *

**A/N: Well that happened, lolz. For the record, the Patriots are my babies but I don't actually live in NE, haha. Anyway I have news that may or may not interest you: On 9/11 I will not be updating this or the other story that is In-Progress, however I will be posting a story on 9/11 about the events. Not like a news article or something, just the effect it had on people, you know? So if you're interested, go for it. It'll probably be kinda depressing but I just really feel like doing this. Thank you all so much for your support! I love you all! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi everybody! So thought about this and I'M BRINGING CLINT BACK! Because he's too good to leave out forever. (Also I didn't post yesterday because I fell asleep early) but I will be posting two or three today, (Finishing up Loki), and then tomorrow nothing will be posted except a story for 9/11 if any of you are interested. So here we go! Enjoy! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Loki and Clint**_

**Loki:** Clint, where are you exactly? Because you said you were going to pick up pizza and it's been 2 hours.

**Clint:** Welllllll the thing is they had like coffee, soooo I like got some and yaaa

**Loki:** Clint. I told you not coffee.

**Clint:** UR not my MOTHER

**Loki:** Your mother no, a mother yes.

**Clint:** STAHP.

**Loki:** You've met them…

**Clint:** Also I had like, 12-even cookies.

**Loki:** What is "12-even" cookies?

**Clint:** Twelve cookies combined with eleven cookies.

**Loki:** I don't think that's a thing.

**Clint:** WHAT DO U KNO, UR A GOD

**Loki:** I am aware of that.

**Clint:** R U.

**Clint:** R U RLY.

**Loki:** Clint, come home now.

**Clint:** U CANT TELL BATMAN WHAT TO DO.

**Clint:** Bitch.

**Loki:** Natasha was right. You are a child in a man's body.

**Clint:** I was a man in a man's body last night ;)

**Loki:** …..

**Loki:** I am a god.

**Clint:** R U?

**Clint:** R U RLLY?

**Clint:** No seriously r u.

**Loki:** -_-

**Clint:** BATMAN. NANANANANANANNANA

**Loki:** I'm calling Natasha.

**Clint:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

* * *

**A/N: Heyyyy, I'm so glad to bring Clint back! I missed him, hehe. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Hm, time for more texts! –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Loki and Bruce**_

**Loki:** Hey I was thinking and like, if you're green, and I'm blue, will our baby be turquoise?

**Bruce:** That's not how it works Loki.

**Loki:** Awww, you're so smart!

**Bruce:** Are you feeling alright?

**Loki:** Well, the thing is, and this is totally not my fault, Thor got me drunk, but I'm not stupid! I have senses.

**Bruce:** I think you mean sense.

**Loki:** That too.

**Bruce:** Maybe you should get some sleep.

**Loki:** Maybe you should come like, tuck me in and then un-tuck me, and undress me…you get the picture don't you?

**Bruce:** Loki, now really isn't a good time.

**Loki:** But WHY?

**Bruce:** Because Tony is in here mocking me.

**Loki:** Then go all hulky and squish him.

**Bruce:** Hulky?

**Loki:** Yes. That is a thing. Now.

**Bruce:** I am concerned about you. I'm coming to tuck you in now.

**Loki:** BRING ME SOME PEANUTS.

**Loki:** AND MAYBE SOME BREAD.

**Loki:** AND A SLINGSHOT.

**Bruce:** …

**Bruce:** I'm not coming upstairs anymore.

**Loki:** *tear*

**Loki:** Goodnight hulky!

**Bruce:** Goodnight Loki.

**Loki:** No. I am Lokiy. Not Loki.

**Bruce:** What am I going to do with you?

**Loki:** Naughty things ;)

* * *

**A/N: I wish Loki would do naughty things with me, hehe. Hope you enjoyed! :D**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm back! This is the last of the Loki ones…*tear tear* but that's ok! Because he will be back, one day….Also thank you thank you thank you to all the reviews! You guys are amazing and should totally keep leaving awesome reviews. –Lokitty**

* * *

_**Loki and Natasha**_

**Loki:** Hey Tasha! I have a surprise for you!

**Natasha:** What is it?

**Loki:** Well it's not a surprise if I tell you now is it?

**Natasha:** Loki. Tell me what it is.

**Loki:** No! Go to your room and find out!

_*A few minutes later*_

**Natasha:** Loki.

**Loki:** Yes?

**Natasha:** My entire room is green. My furniture, my clothes, the walls, the bathroom. If this is a joke, I'm going to kill you.

**Loki:** But you said you liked green! And since it's my color and you're dating a god it needed to be all over your room.

**Loki:** Tasha?

**Loki:** Where did you go?

**Loki:** I'm scared 0.0

_*An hour later*_

**Natasha:** Hey Loki?

**Loki: **…..yes….?

**Natasha:** I have a surprise for you.

**Loki: **What is it?

**Natasha: **Well it's not a surprise if I tell you now is it?

**Loki:** ….Tasha please, I'm scared.

**Natasha:** You should be.

**Loki:** 0.0

**Loki:** Hey, where are my clothes?

**Natasha:** Somewhere.

**Loki:** Wait, all of my stuff is missing…how did you even manage to do that without me noticing!?

**Natasha:** Don't question me.

**Loki:** I do what I want!

**Natasha:** You're right, and I do what I want to who I want when I want because I can. So do yourself a favor, honey, next time you decide to fuck with my stuff, think about your safety. Because this is far from over.

**Loki:** …..I'm dead….

* * *

**A/N: If you haven't learned by now not to mess with Natasha, I can't help you. Hope you enjoyed! NEXT CHAPTER IS BUCKY AND STEVE I'M SO EXCITED. **


	21. Chapter 21

**STUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Also thankie to you guys who leave like four reviews at one, it makes me happy. :) –Lokitty **

* * *

_**Steve and Bucky**_

**Steve:** Hello Bucky! How are you today? –S

**Bucky:** Better, thanks for asking. –B

**Steve:** Well what are friends for? Did you sleep alright? –S

**Bucky:** Right…friends…Same as always. –B

**Steve:** :( Nightmares keep you up all night again? –S

**Bucky:** Yes. I bet if I had someone to snuggle with I might sleep better… -B

**Steve:** Like who? –S

**Bucky:** Steve, I can't take this anymore. Haven't you ever been flirted with before? –B

**Steve:** Well yes, why? –S

**Bucky:** …. –B

**Bucky:** Because I've been flirting with you for the past week and you're oblivious. –B

**Steve:** So Tony was telling the truth? –S

**Bucky:** Truth about what? –B

**Steve: **He claimed you were flirting with me. –S

**Bucky:** And you wonder why I threaten him as often as I do… -B

**Steve:** So, you were flirting with me? –S

**Bucky:** Yes! –B

**Steve:** I'm so sorry! I'd love to sleep with you! –S

**Bucky: **Steve look at your message. Really look at it. –B

**Steve:** What about it? I said I'd sleep with you, does that mean something else? –S

**Bucky:** Well I guess you'll find out tonight now, won't you? –B

**Steve:** Should I be concerned…? –S

**Bucky:** Of course not, I'll make it totally worth your while ;) –B

**Steve:** Make what worth my while? It's just sleep. –S

**Bucky:** You really are adorable. –B

**Steve: **Thanks! –S

**Bucky: **Course Steve, course ;) –B

**Steve: **Why do you keep putting that face? –S

**Bucky:** Reasons ;) –B

**Steve:** Ok…. –S

* * *

**A/N: Steve probably isn't THAT clueless, but it's cute when he is. **


	22. Chapter 22

**Omg you guys, you seriously are amazing with your reviews! Thanks soooo much and I'm going to try to do what all of you guys wish to see but you'll have to be patient, there's a lot. And Tony x Bucky is a thing? I've yet to hear of that...I'll do it today, probably. Now here we go with a group! -Lokitty**

* * *

_Group _

**Steve:** Hello all! I would like to invite you all to a dinner on Friday:) -S  
**Tony:** What kind of dinner?  
**Steve:** Like a date night. -S  
**Clint:** Oooooooooo. Can we Tasha!?  
**Natasha:** Only if you promise to behave.  
**Clint:** I promise!  
**Steve:** What about you Tony? -S  
**Bucky:** Or is your relationship just all in bed? -B  
**Loki:** It is not! We do nice things too. Tony we're going.  
**Tony:** Kay.  
**Steve:** Thor? -S  
**Thor:** I WOULD WISH TO GO BUT I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.  
**Bruce:** Neither am I.  
**Clint:** Then go together and maybe u'll leave in a relationship.  
**Thor:** VERY WELL. I SHALL ATTEND.  
**Bruce:** I will too, as long as it's not some overly crowded restaurant.  
**Tony:** I'll reserve it for just us.  
**Steve:** Thank you Tony. See you all tonight! -S

_*Tonight. Steve and Bucky*_

**Steve:** Hey Bucky? -S  
**Bucky:** Yes Steve? -B  
**Steve:** Can I ask you something? -S  
**Bucky:** Sure. But why are you texting me? I'm sitting right next to you. -B  
**Steve:** Because I don't want anybody else to hear. -S  
**Bucky:** Must be serious then. Ask away. -B  
**Steve:** Do you know who One Direction is? -S  
**Bucky:** Hm, I don't think so. Why? -B  
**Steve:** Because Clint was singing a song the other day and I asked him what it was then he got upset that I didn't know who they were. -S  
**Bucky:** We'll have to look them up tonight. -B  
**Steve:** Ok. Hey why does Clint text funny anyway? -S

_*Tony, Loki, Natasha, and Clint*  
_  
**Tony:** Dude, why do you text funny. I've been meaning to ask.  
**Clint:** What do u mean text funny?  
**Loki:** You abbreviate certain things, such as you or are, but not other things that could be abbreviated, such as together or maybe.  
**Clint:** Y do u guys always team up on me!?  
**Natasha:** Because you make it too easy for them.  
**Clint:** Y don't u ever defend me? I thought we were dating!  
**Loki:** Idiot. She defends you all the time when you're not around. Honestly I think she has to defend you way too often, but that's just my opinion.  
**Clint:** Really...?  
**Natasha:** Yes of course.  
**Tony:** Are you crying Clint?  
**Clint:** No! I just, onions.  
**Loki:** We haven't gotten out food yet.  
**Clint:** Shut up...  
**Tony:** Hehe, you're crying.  
**Natasha:** Ok ok that's enough. I think our foods coming now.

_*Thor and Bruce*_

**Thor:** MAN OF ANGER. IT WOULD APPEAR THAT OUR FOOD GAS ARRIVED.  
**Bruce:** Indeed. Thor why are you texting me?  
**Thor:** I WISH NOT TO STRESS YOU OUT WITH MY LOUDNESS  
**Bruce:** Oh, well thanks. Though everyone seems to be texting instead of talking.  
**Thor:** INDEED. LET US FEAST NOW.  
**Bruce:** Feast away.

* * *

**A/N: Yep. Because honestly they would all be on their phones, gods and old men, lolz.**


	23. Chapter 23

**So I didn't actually know that Tony and Bucky was a thing but apparently it is! It's super cute too, I spent some time this morning doing 'research' haha. So here we go! Wish me luck! -Lokitty**

* * *

_Bucky and Tony  
_  
**Bucky:** Tony? Why does Loki keep calling me bark? -B  
**Tony:** You really don't want to know...  
**Bucky:** Yes I do. -B  
**Tony:** Well, your name is Bucky. And my last name is Stark, so, Bark...  
**Bucky:** Really? In a way that's kinda cute. -B  
**Tony:** It was supposed to be an insult.  
**Bucky:** But if we take it not as an insult then he loses and we win. -B  
**Tony:** Yep, this is why I love you.  
**Bucky:** We should mess with him. -B  
**Tony:** You want to pull a prank on a god, who has magic.  
**Bucky:** Yes. -B  
**Tony:** That logic is totally sound! When do we begin!

*Later*

**Tony:** BUCKY HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME HELP ME.  
**Bucky:** I TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS WITH HIS SHAMPOO. -B  
**Tony:** BUT IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY. IF HE LIKES GREEN SO MUCH THEN HIS HAIR SHOULD BE GREEN TOO.  
**Bucky:** You truly are Tony Stark. -B

* * *

**A/N: So I have decides to just do all the Bucky ships...what have you people done to me. Not Falcon though. Btw the whole 'Bark' thing, my friend came up with.**


	24. Chapter 24

**How hard can Clint and Bucky be...? So I Am Iron Man. I love your idea. At the end will be a list of pairings I want you guys to make names for! Best name wins their choice of what the convo for that ship will text about. Yayyy-Lokitty  
**

* * *

_**Bucky and Clint**_

**Clint:** Hey Bucky? Ya know how u got a metal arm and stuff.  
**Bucky:** Yes. What about it? -B  
**Clint:** Well the thing is, like, I was wondering, certain things, and like...stuff...  
**Bucky:** Clint, please just get to the point. -B  
**Clint:** Iwaswonderingwhatit'dbeliketohavesexwithu...there. I said it.  
**Bucky:** Because of my arm...? -B  
**Clint:** Well, I started thinking bout it, then the rest of u...things happened...I took a shower.  
**Bucky:** Um, good to know...? -B  
**Clint:** R u rejecting me.  
**Bucky:** No, I'm just trying to figure out your thought process. -B  
**Clint:** Ha.  
**Clint:** Good luck with that dude.  
**Clint:** Idk what goes on in my head, and I live in it.  
**Bucky:** Doesn't Loki know? -B  
**Clint:** DON'T U BRING HIM INTO THIS BARNES. HIS MIND IS FULL OF SEX AND TONY NAKED. THAT IS ALL HE CARES BOUT.  
**Bucky:** I just asked a question...-B  
**Clint: **Well stahp  
**Bucky:** I have a metal arm. -B  
**Clint:** ...shhhhhhhhhhhh  
**Bucky:** You can't make me. I'll make you scream Barton. -B  
**Clint:** In the sexual way!?  
**Bucky:** And you claim that Loki's the only one whose mind is full of sex...-B

* * *

**A/N: Boom. Clint and Bucky. Idk of it's even a thing(it probably is)so there. I hope you enjoyed you peoples. You guys need a name. Yes.  
So contest: Please leave in reviews the pairing, your chosen name, and what you want them to do. PLEASE JUST CHOOSE ONE. THANK YOU.**

_**Loki Bucky  
Bucky Clint (because honestly it needs a name)  
Bucky Thor (because why not)**_

Contest ends September 19. Meanwhile other texts will be posted. GO GO GO! :D


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello all! I'm very happy to see such good ideas (especially those of you who were clever and used last names too) and remember if you come up with anything else there's still plenty of time! Until September 19! -Lokitty**

* * *

****_Group: Tony, Clint, Loki, Thor_

**Thor:** FRIENDS. I HAVE BEGUN THIS MESSAGING OF THE GROUP FOR A VERY IMPORTANT MATTER.  
**Tony:** What's up Thor?  
**Thor:** WHICH ONE OF YOU IS DEFILING MY BROTHER.  
**Loki:** THOR. I TOLD YOU THIS WAS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.  
**Clint:** Have defiled in the past, am not currently defiling.  
**Tony:** I'm not 'defiling' anyone  
**Tony:** Wait  
**Tony:** Clint?  
**Tony:** Wtf.  
**Clint:** What? It was a one-time thing! We were drunk and lonely.  
**Thor:** YES I AM VERY AWARE OF YOUR PAST WITH MY BROTHER MAN WITH EYES SIMILAR TO THOSE OF A HAWK.  
**Loki:** Thor just stop. This isn't your business!  
**Thor:** AH BUT IT IS. YOU ARE MY BABY BROTHER. I MUST PROTECT YOU FROM THE DANGERS OF LOVE.  
**Clint: **Loki's in love!? Eeeeeeee  
**Clint:** Wait Tony lied. They're together. Loki and Tony sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G. THEN SEX!  
**Loki:** CLINT!  
**Thor:** STARK.  
**Tony: **I'm running away now.  
**Loki:** THOR DO NOT TOUCH HIM.  
**Thor:** ADMIT YOU LOVE HIM AND I SHALL LET HIM GO FREE.  
**Tony:** You love me?  
**Clint:** Love = SEX  
**Loki:** Oh grow up Barton.  
**Clint:** WHO IS THIS BARTON U SPEAK OF. I AM BATMAN.  
**Tony:** Oh for fucks sake  
**Loki:** THAT IS IT. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE. CLINT. SHUT UP. THOR YES I DO LOVE STARK. STARK. SHUT UP.  
**Tony:** :D  
**Clint:** ...  
**Thor: **THANK YOU BROTHER. I SHALL GO NOW.  
**Clint:** The hel just happened.  
**Loki:** Don't use my daughters name.  
**Clint:** U HAVE KIDS!?  
**Loki:** ...

* * *

**A/N: Wheeeee thanks for reading. Also I just wanted to say that since only one name will be picked (for each pairing) please don't be butthurt if it's not yours. You all have had great ideas so far, it's just a matter of which was the cutest! (In my opinion :3) love you.  
**


	26. Chapter 26

**Does** **anybody know if Bucky and Bruce is a thing and do you want me to do it. Also, if it isn't I'll take a name for it as well! Great contest entries you guys! I'm super impressed. So the winners are as follows:**

**Evie McPhey: Bucky and Clint: Barnton.**

**I Am Iron Man (Guest): Bucky and Loki: WinterFrost : and Thor and Bucky: Thorky (CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE WHAT YOU'D LIKE THEM TO DO SO I CAN WRITE IT)**

**Thanks for entering! I know I had one person who won two things but I really liked their ideas so it happened. Love you all!**

* * *

_Clint and Bucky_

Clint: Hey Bucky? Amazing Bucky? U kno how ur arm is all, metal and stuff?

Bucky: Um yes, what about it? -B

Clint: Can u do like anything with it?

Bucky: Define anything. -B

Clint: Punch a squirrel.

Bucky: Um, yes? -B

Clint: Eat a donut.

Bucky: Yes. -B

Clint: Jack me off.

Bucky: You know the answer to that. -B

Clint: Hehe.

Clint: Punch a squirrel.

Bucky: You already asked that. -B

Clint: This is a different squirrel.

Bucky: Answer is still yes. -B

Clint: Climb a tree.

Bucky: Yes. -B

Clint: Fight an army of squirrels.

Bucky: Clint, do you have a squirrel problem? -B

Clint: THERES LIKE FIVE OF THEM IN MY TREE.

Bucky: So your solution was to bother me about my arm when the deeper meaning of this conversation was you asking me to knock out some squirrels, Hawkeye. -B

Clint: Y'd u use that name?

Bucky: You never miss. -B

Clint: OH. I GET IT NOW. I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT. BRB.

_*Ten minutes later*_

Clint: SQUIRREL ALERT. THEY HAVE REBELLED. SAVE ME.

Bucky: How did they...? You know, never mind. I'm on my way. -B

Clint: YAY! I love u.

* * *

**A/N: First one up! I can't post the other two 'till the lovely I Am Iron Man lets me know what is to be done but there's no rush! I wasn't posting for a couple days because I had some mouth things happened. I'm pretty sure you don't want the details. Thanks so much for your patience! Love you all so so so much! :D**


	27. Chapter 27

**Woot! Here we go! Tis the Thorky! -Lokitty**

* * *

_Bucky and Thor_

**Thor: **MY DEAR SOLIDER OF WINTER. YOU ARE WELL EDUCATION WITH THE DEVICES OF MIDGARD, CORRECT?

**Bucky: **You'll have to be more specific. Are you taking about phones and computers? -B

**Thor:** INDEED. MY SMALL DEVICE, THE PHONE I BELIEVE, HAS BEEN DISOBEDIENT. HOW DO I MAKE IT OBEY ME.

**Bucky: **What did it do? -B

**Thor:** THE WOMAN IN THE PHONE DOES NOT COMPREHEND WHAT I COMMAND HER TO DO.

**Bucky: **Siri? -B

**Thor:** LET ME ASK.

**Thor:** SHE HAS DISOBEYED ME ONCE AGAIN. I SHALL DISPOSE OF ALL OF HER PEOPLE AT ONCE.

**Bucky:** Wait, all? -B

_*Later, from a new phone*_

**Thor:** MY DEAR SOLDIER OF WINTER. I HAVE ACQUIRED A NEW PHONE.

**Bucky: **Yes, so have all the Avengers, because you destroyed them. -B

**Thor:** THEY HAD IT COMING.

**Bucky:** Oh Thor...Well as long as you don't break anything else. -B

**Thor:** HOW DO I OPERATE YOUR COMPUTER?

**Bucky:** Thor, do not touch that. -B

**Thor:** IT HAS DISOBEYED ME! I SHALL DISPOSE OF IT FOR YOU.

**Bucky:** You owe me so much right now. -B

**Thor:** I HAVE SAVED YOU.

**Bucky: **Ok we're going to sit down and I'm going to teach you how to solve your issues without breaking them. Go to your room. -B

**Thor:** :(

* * *

**A/N: Bucky grounded** **Thor:( haha. Leave a review! :D**


	28. Chapter 28

**Ok! WinterFrost :D -Lokitty**

* * *

_Bucky and Loki_

**Bucky: **Hey Loki? Look, your magic's cool and all but could you fix my arm...? -B

**Loki: **What's wrong with it?

**Bucky:** It's frozen. I can't really function with it like a block of ice. -B

**Loki: **Frozen? I don't remember doing that...

**Bucky: **You were drunk -_- -B

**Loki:** OOOOOOO Now I remember! Ok I'm on my way.

**Bucky**: Ok. Thank you. -B

_*Later*_

**Bucky: **Loki where are you? It's been almost two hours. -B

**Loki:** I got distracted.

**Bucky:** Doing what? -B

**Loki: **Well.

**Loki: **You see.

**Loki:** There was a Starbucks.

**Loki:** So I got some.

**Bucky:** And that took two hours? -B

**Loki:** Um.

**Loki:** Yes.

**Bucky:** Loki. -B

**Loki:** Ok Ok I'll be honest with you.

**Loki:** I took a nap.

**Bucky: **Loki! I can't function! -B

**Loki: **I know.

**Loki:** It's hilarious.

**Bucky:** You better hope I don't get my arm unfrozen, because I'm coming for you. -B

**Loki:** Ooo I'm so scared.

**Loki:** Haha.

**Bucky:** Hey, Loki? You know how we share a floor? Well, your shampoo is just sitting there. I might have to do something with it. -B

**Loki:** DON'T YOU TOUCH MY HAIR PRODUCTS.

**Bucky:** Oops. Too late. -B

**Loki:** BUCKY WHYYYYYY.

**Bucky:** XD -B

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**A/N: Hehe. Hope you enjoyed!**


	29. Chapter 29

**It's time for number twenty nine! Sorry I had to do that…so it's been a while, school and shit. So I hope this doesn't totally suck. ENJOY! –Lokitty**

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**Wade and Peter**

**Wade**: Spideyyyyyy I miss youuuuuuuuuu

**Peter:** I left like, two minutes ago.

**Wade:** But I miss youuuuuuuuu

**Peter:** I have patrol

**Wade:** And I have a big cock, what's your point?

**Peter:** -_-

**Wade:** Where is the chocolate btw?

**Wade: **I can't find it

**Wade**: Peter?

**Wade**: Peter?

**Wade**: PETER?

**Wade**: WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE!?

**Wade:** I feel so alone…

**Wade:** Wait.

**Wade:** WHY WAS THE CHOCOLATE IN YOUR UNDERWEAR DRAWER

**Wade:** WHO WANTS TO EAT THAT

**Peter:** That was the point

**Wade:** Oh now you answer

**Wade: **You could've died

**Peter:** And you still only cared about the chocolate

**Wade:** Oh

**Wade:** PETER ARE YOU OK?

**Peter:** I think the better question is are YOU ok?

**Wade:** Yes

**Wade:** I'm eating the chocolate

**Wade:** I hope this underwear was clean

**Peter: **I will not dignify that with a response

**Wade:** PETER WHY

**Wade:** PETER

**Wade**: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

* * *

**Well that happened, lol. If any of you are reading the Spideypool fic I've been writing, I finally started the next chapter again, so the wait shouldn't be horrid anymore, but I make no promises. **


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